I’ve never really been one that set a New Year’s intention because I used to live life day by day. While this was wonderful for having no expectation from what each day would bring, it was also just as wonderful for not holding myself responsible for anything beyond what would come along through the year. I was not holding myself responsible to anything, primarily myself. I’ve always held myself responsible for the happiness of others and satisfying everyone around me. This created a plate where my eyes were too big for what I could stomach and I would start to become overwhelmed because I bit off more than I could chew. I was always reacting to changes because that’s how I was mindlessly living life. I was reacting to everything around me falling apart because I was not holding up expectations I placed on myself to keep an easy and happiness filled world revolving for everyone else. That was a mouthful! If it sounded like a mouthful of a sentence, imagine living it! I became really good at being focused on one person or another or one problem at a time. It became more difficult when I had to balance more than one issue at a time and I would wear myself thin. Maybe the universe was trying to throw so much at me that I was supposed to stop, but always found a way to get it all addressed.
Living in a reactionary state was what I knew and what had always worked for me in the past. I got really good at it so when it stopped working a few years ago, I was completely lost. It didn’t quit working so abruptly, but when it came to a screeching halt, it felt abrupt and as if life ended for me. It wasn’t that the reactive responses quit working for everyone else, it just didn’t work this time because it was me that needed fixed. As long as I was trying to fix everything and make everything better for everyone else, it functioned just fine. I had left myself out of the equation for happiness. I had no practice for what would work for me or how to put out my fires. I didn’t see the forest through the trees until mine was on fire. Spirit came knocking pretty harshly to say that I needed to stop living for everyone else and start living for myself. Spirit has always kept me on track and I never realized it before. It’s more in retrospect that I’m finally noticing that Spirit has been the driving force in my life, and the most recent set of tragic events was the hardest it had come knocking in this life. I was forced to take care of myself because it was only through me that I would get better, and most importantly, wake up and grow. I honestly don’t think that anyone could have helped anyway, not unless they had the power to erase the events or catapult me into a different universe. Even if they did, I wouldn’t have turned inward to change my world, find my Self, and grow. This lead me to create goals for myself instead of flying by the seat of my pants, not that spontaneity isn’t fun, but my life isn’t intended to live in that fashion except for vacations etc.
What started as a tragic shutdown for me, finished with turning inward, transforming, and finding myself once again connecting to spirit. I find myself moving to live from a place of intention. I don’t have it mastered yet but I’m trying. This being said, I’ve noticed that I’ve set some goals as 2022 started to roll to a close. I started to wonder where I fit into the bigger picture or where my new path should lead. Every time I thought I knew, it still didn’t feel solid; I didn’t know what was missing. I’ve had so many ideas presented to me in the past couple of months that I’ve set goals around this spiritually and personally. I know one thing for sure, I am energy and I can feel it. This energy will direct me forward with purpose. It’s big and I can feel it and I know it will present itself when I’m ready. I just need to be patient and though I used to believe I was a very patient person, I’ve learned differently. So here it goes, my first New Year’s intention.
1) Live with intention for spiritual growth.
While this may seem vague, I’ve chosen areas where I will focus these intentions. To continue my spiritual growth and direct attention to a purpose, I want to further develop my intuition and obtain certifications in past life regression and holistic health coaching. One lesson I’ve learned this past year is there needs to be a balance in life. I’ve always focused on one area and would throw myself into it completely. Call it my ADD, but now that I’m aware of it, I can’t just blame it on that and need to intentionally learn balance. I’m not just Spirit but human too and need to balance that with needs such as personal time and relationships. To that end, I will be living more intentionally with relationships, including a relationship with myself.
What’s your New Year’s intention? Do you have one? Feel free to share and maybe we can return to this post at the end of 2023 to see how we succeeded. Successes come in many ways so pay attention to how you’re succeeding through the year. Journal it! Every small step in any direction is success and spiritual growth 🙏💗🙌
Thank you for taking time out of your day to stop by to read my long-winded intention. Be blessed and watch for the Mercury retrograde
Victoria
Silent Waters 