Loss

Loss has been a theme for me for at least two years. When it rains, it pours. That Loss is deep. Loss has been my greatest teacher. I’ve learned a lot about myself, others, and perception. One of the biggest lessons is that no matter how much you think you’re keeping people safe, trying to keep them happy, trying to love them enough that they will see it and feel it, and trying to protect them from pain, it comes down to my past experience and control. Trying to control the world, environment, and experiences for others: 1) I can’t save anyone. 2) I’m not supposed to save anyone. 3) while it’s true that I love them, the largest motivation comes from my experiences in life and how they’ve shaped me and that on some level, I’m trying to save and protect myself. This is just a tip of what I’ve learned and how it’s changed me and how I’ve changed myself. The best growth from this is my reconnection to God/Jesus/Source/Universe, however you choose to label your belief. This has helped me to feel others who are still there, regardless of their presence, or lack thereof, in my life. I’m able to feel more love and gratitude for them. I’m able to continue communicating with them, and the perception of separation has changed. It’s not possible for me to feel that most of the time because I know they aren’t gone, and I talk to them all the time. That connection also enables me to continue to see them in my mind eye.
I’ve lost at least 11 people in the past 2 years. Some have graduated from life here, and others are not present for whatever reason.
I heard something the other day. We are here to complete what we came here to do. The more we collect while we are here, the more we distract ourselves. When we leave, those collections/distractions remain. The only thing we take is our love and memories, of sorts, to add to our knowledge/gifts (I’m struggling to come up with a way to describe this). The constant is love. I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to accumulate what I’ve wanted because I saw what I thought I didn’t have while watching others, most of it family and friendship with others. It can be a lonely feeling until I meditate and feel that ultimate love and connection and know it’s greater and always there. I’m on a different path than collecting people and things. I see that now. I’m on a path of experience and carrying that ultimate love that doesn’t compare to love experienced here.
I send love to anyone who is in need of it today.
Blessings